My everyday diary

   Welcome to my world.

You can say that am a dreamer,but by follow my dreams i am who i am today and my dreams gives me hope and faith to archive my goals and to believe in myself,i am not famous am not rich am just wanting to spread my happiness my dreams with you.I am an published Author a photographer and for a living i have a little clothing store online on E bay.I love what am doing in life and i love myself you need to love yourself first before you can love another this is my experience.
The world needs love it needs joy and peace,so by creating my work of art i hope to bring people together and i hope that i can be of inspiration.

You probably would not believe that i do not watch TV,its been 5 years i do watch different channels on YouTube,i also listen to all my music there.Its also very rare that i listen to Radio i used to do all this things but there is always a reason for everything as there is always a solution.

 i think of how lucky i am to be here on earth to see all that is here and to be grateful for every little thing.its not important to have it all as long as the little you have can make you happy.i feel very happy to be alive,to be in good health to enjoy the little family i have around me everyday...

Today its sunday the most peaceful day i know here were i live everything its closed kinda boaring but instead of using money i have so much other things to do.i also always notice when i wake up in the morning to check my mail or online clothing store i cant see the computer screen either i have a wet layer on my eyes its all blury and i need glasses or maybe its just because am still tierd and waking up because whats so stranges its that after an hour i can see again maybe sounds so strange but this is how i feel.i dont know if this is normal is it?..so its evening ,after a day with some cleaning and a day with my dishes as company.)it takes forever just to do the dish i remember some years ago i had dish washer so much better,so what i wish for maybe for Christmas its a dish washer,but i don't think it is room for it here we are having plans to move to get a house a house we can fix up our self,so i pray and wish that very soon we can afford to get a house.


 I write within many subjects ,my upcoming book its about erotic, vampire true love romance, passion desire and so much more if you click on my other pages here in my blogger you can read more about me and you can also see what am working on.
i will add more as i find time and in between everything else....

Tonight i did not find much time for my writing but tomorrow its another day,for more adventures,i also need to ship away two of my dresses that i sold today usually i sell around 15 dresses in a month i don't get rich but its a living that will get me through...

well i better go to brush and bring my friend Abbey..Abbey its my cat,she is half Norwegian forest cat very fluffy she is 16 month old, i will post a picture of her here tomorrow.she always walked with me to the bathroom,first she makes a sound then its time to go like right away.)
so its time its Good night and more tomorrow
......Here is some words i wrote yesterday....

                                                
To the one my heart desire.....
From your soul i find my sleep,with every whispers in the wind,i hear your voice.
In every gentle touch,from your hands,i find my blanket...And in your eyes i see tomorrow.
Good night..


Good morning to me and the world and to whom i love.I cant say i had a good night sleep because i thought i heard sounds outside my window just as if i could see shadows then a sound of moving wind but there were no wind outside kinda creepy,then i looked at Abbey she were sound asleep.but here i am just waked up late ready for my day..with my coffee and puter the fireplace its on ,so within a few minutes i will check my E bay to see if i received payments from the dresses,if not i wait normally  wait 2 days if i do not receive my payment i am always sending a friendly reminder...
And then i always get paid.

The weather here today its cool its about 2 Celsius outside so its proof that autumn its here and very soon i will wake up to snow..

I wrote yesterday that i wanted to post a picture of Abbey,so here she is.

So today went well,i sold actually 3 dresses just waiting for payment and by tomorrow i have them all shipped out.My script did not get any new words today i had so much on my mind.Like some days i feel old like my hair will not stay like i want it to ,but a good advice i use either almond oil or coconut oil its truly a miracle cure but when i don't use for a few days the hair its like very dry.i don't use the hair dryer.and not real color in my hair if i color it once every 2 month i use color shampoo that don't destroy your hair..Then some days i feel younger  i think its depends on what make up i use color,style and of course how i put my hair,I heard i look much younger than i am,but the truth is when i just walk around in the house i look about my ago my hair up no make up and just sweatpants and a t shirt.just let it flow without worries...But to be honest its not how old you are or how you look its about being happy love yourself as you are.no matter what if your skinny or to much weight it do not matter you are beautiful , just the way you are.and if people don't like you the way you are just walk the other way.people that care about you that love you will always stay and as long as you are healthy and happy just jump of happiness and smile to the world...This is my experience.And if you do feel alone and lonely there will still be a reason to go on to hope for your dreams and to met people that will accept you just the way you are..

Its another beautiful autumn day,i could not write this morning because i had to prepare some shipping,i also were suppose to go with my dad today to his attorney to see if he could sell his property he heritages from his parents.
But sadly my dad Ray has migraine so we had to cancel but i did go to the city to pick up a few dresses and to exchange a few dollar i had so my son could have in his savings i need to tell you that my son graduated from high school so the money were a graduation gift .my son mike its very good young man.he like to stay at home he do not party or go out he has never been drunk or even touched  a drink he is also one of many i think that goes to the dentist regular without having any tooth problems i am very proud of him.i just wish sometimes that he could go more out to enjoy the outdoors but he want.he seems happy and stay busy with other things..

Today the 27 of September 2012 i went on hiking on a real adventure to an outdoor botanic garden its not only floral's there but 200 year old trees i really had a great day overclouds but still magic i will go back next week to capture the last breath of the autumn colors trees,love this time of the year its so beautiful .A  few picture here will be more very soon

So am here again after a few days break from my blog.i had some beautiful day again today in the park i love to get away from the city its to much sounds for me i feel more at peace around trees and just sit and listen to the wonderful nature sounds.its so magic.


i have not been here for awhile,it took me some time to write here again,because am really busy with my upcoming book that is such a wonderful story you will love it i promise you a true magic adventure.
its start getting cold here tonight i seen minus 2 c.  means for sure that the snow its just around the corner..tonight am also watching GH am a big fan and have been watching the show for over 12 years its a part of me and my life....

Today were such a beautiful day,warm autumn day,thou i had some headache which i never have but i guess its because there is so much going on in my life for the moment.But the main thing is that i can go one each day with a good smile and more inspirations for my work either if its my writing my photography or my clothing store.each day is for me a new day to move forward to meet the future and my dreams are endless.I think the main thing in life is to move forward no matter your past its the past that create a better future for you and to stay strong and in search for the positive little things in life makes it even more beautiful ,to be surrender by good friends and family that loves you means so much, don't waste energy on people that fail you over and over,leave the bad things in life and surrender yourself  with what makes you smile and feel good about yourself.life is to short to be angry to be jealous stay positive and be honest to yourself that's how you can be truthful to others as well,this is how i feel and live by...

So today its snowing here its start getting real cold and when the storm sets in its almost painful to go outside to live close by the ocean its not always perfect but summer times are beautiful.
i have noticed that after 45 everything seems colder and every little thing changes in your life?for me its not much changes since i already as 18 year old had grey hair but its more today than ever before its so boring to color my hair sometimes i wish i could just go gray all the way of course i can but i think today people should be a little up to date we are after all living in another century that needs to be updated and to follow the trend.but since also the trend is to stay gray or at least color it almost gray with blond as a name its so elegant but since my face its already pale i would look like a ghost.i think when a woman turns 60 its time to go gray i think a grandma should look like a grandma and not as an 18 year old makes me sick to see a 60 year old in tight stretch leggings or short skirt without anything to cover the legs or a 60 year old with sharp red color hair just look so ugly i think if an older woman should color her hair its about staying close to your original color not pink red or anything that's not your true color if you use to be dark brown color your hair close to your own hair color and for God sake do not use shimmering lips sticks white or trashy lipsticks after you turn 50.it will makes you look older the best color for a woman over 45 is light colors close to your skin tone.when its talk about lipstick i would say coral colors not to deep but coral light its very pretty the same goes for your roughs,use a good brush just above your cheekbones and carefully use either  coral light skin tone coral or you can use pink/.ivory tone but not to much also you can use brown but crystal brown but no deep colors ,for your eye shadow you can always use brown but lift it more away from your eyes don't make your eyes looks like a Bambi or drag your eyeliner to get those eyes that stretches up like Bambi eyes because its only makes you look so much older and people can see how old you really are i will post pictures of me soon were i show you how i am doing my make up and remember i am 46 years old look like i am in my late 20 earlier 30 just because i know how to take care of myself...some ideas on how i stay up to date in a fine way...My own age...

So am finally here again writing may not be so many that read my blog but then i can write for myself.)
kinda kewl to have a written diary.
There has been so much in my life lately but one thing i can tell you i put back on my wedding band because i am back with my husband we are meant to be forever even some times we do not think we found love we did and even through miles apart for the moment there will be a day that we again are back into each others arms i love my husband no more discussion about it i am moving forward with him by my side so i feel more happy more secure because am not alone no more feels good to know i always say never give up the once you love fight for your desire your dreams and one day it will all my your true life not longer a dream or fantasy...

Good morning to you.i hope today its the most beautiful time in your life.i have not been here for awhile mostly because its soon Christmas there its so much to do and in between i had to prepare two wonderful birthdays to my son Mike and to my dad Ray.they had such a great time and they have birthday just 1 day apart so in this house its a very busy time of the year .i have birthday too soon the 18 of December then i will be 46 years old do i feel like 46 i am not sure.sometimes i do i think sometimes not,i am very happy i have my health and everyday i can wake up to this wonderful life am living to see the beauty in this world i am grateful ..even if am busy this Christmas i never forget others this year i have been giving help to the animal shelters,the salvation army and children and elderly all over the world both among my own people and native American .i am also a great supporter of wildlife and protection of wolf's that stays very close to my heart.last year i adopted a 4 year old girl from Chile her name is Mia,she needed a good loving mom ,a home she had needed for such a long time..its not easy for everyone to give this Christmas but it do not haft to be money just be there for someone,reach out and be you do what you can do out of your heart which is love, security warmth give out from your mind your soul which is happiness,dreams,hope and peace.all you can do this time of the year you can also do every day of the year....With all my kind thoughts and greetings for a peaceful Christmas may all happiness be yours this season..

I find myself having some time to sit down and write a few lines on here..
i am ready for the Christmas to find our hearts everything its ready to welcome the beautiful season of all.In a few days my birthday its here and i still looking for a cake that i like,its so rare i find anything around here with a good taste of vanilla my favorite flavor ,So i will be older,wiser and more beautiful.This is how i see it.i actually look forward to be older.i love elderly people always admire them so for me to be older its beauty and magic!

i wish to share with you a little beauty tip.am sure some of you do it differently than me but this is my way and i can say so far i do not have any body stretch mark no wrinkles at all i do have smiley wrinkles but i see no problem within this.

i have been giving birth to my beautiful children and still today no visible sign that i ever did.because first of all i always walk 2 hours a day i used to,bike,so my legs still are very strong and tight.i exerciser very rarely but i walk ,and always been very active which means my body stays in shape.
i never sleep in the day which will only get you more tired and your body will gain weight.
i stopped smoking when i was 23 years old i hardly drink just a few glass of wine very rarely.
i drink plenty of milk i would say 4 glasses everyday and yogurt each morning and i have never had any stomach pain not even when i have my period no sign no pain i know for sure that yogurt  its the key here and the milk.
i also drink juice i make myself which will help your body to not create wrinkles..
remember this is how i live and i never get the flue nor do i get sick or feel pain.very rarely when i sit up and write late at night i had headache but other than a few times no headache no pain and remember lady's am 46 years old.
this goes for the men as well.
so over to my cleaning tip.
when i shower which i do only 3 times a week if you do it each day you will only dry out your skin which creates the wrinkles.i never clean my face with soap only clean water.
if you clean your face with soap you will again create wrinkles..so in the shower i only use oil for my body it can be almond oil or baby oil and a good shower soap do not matter which one you pick but i always desire vanilla,my fave.))

So i am back on here writing away from some busy days and week but what an amazing time i had with my family and friends this Christmas ,new years times that its behind us and a really good HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL.

This year 2013 i have so many plans,but first i want to tell you about me what i think its a gift a blessing in my life its how i never get sick.it has been over 16 years since i had the flue and the secret its not much. But i do Use Emergent c everyday there is also days i only eat lemon raw or garlic raw.but very rare ,but i do eat plenty of fish i think to much meat will only get you sick and to much meat will shorten your life by 10 years true??yes its true.
so turn to fish and live your life regardless no secret actually.)

So over to my birthday.)
i had birthday 18 of December 2012,and can you believe am already 46 years old he he i cant believe it!! one thing its to feel like am in my 20 but another thing its when people say that i look like am in my 20 so am very proud of these words thou i don't mind getting old i think to get older its cute.)
here its a picture of me,with my Santa suite on.)

i just needed to tell you that am here ,

with more words soon,i will add more on each site page so please visit me again real soon.

So am here again it has been awhile  since i last were here ,but wanted to write down a few words.

so today i am writing about a part in my life were i had a weight problem well it was not that i gain weight because i eat to much candy or food or even stopped exercising,no it started out with that i had tooth pain,and without insurance for awhile i found myself in more pain that i could bare.not only did i had to drink a bottle of wine each day for the pain but even two it became so bad so i had to use M to stop my pain.it lasted a few month until my tooth fell out i cried not only did i lost my tooth but my pain were less so tears of happiness and tears from be pain free.when my husband finally got us insurance again when he were back at work it was to late to even go to the dentist at least this is what i thought i am terrified of the dentists cant stand it to much.but what i did not knew were that by then i were addicted to wine ,it were wine everyday i mean not only one glass but 10 when the summer were at the highest point me and my husband had party every day and night not only wine but bear as well not good but what i did not see were that i became very heavy.i will post a picture later.however the drinking lasting not long.after my husband started back to work we had our responsibility to our family.

but by then i really had problem going down in weight.even my pregnancy i did not gain any weight but when i quit drinking and started with pure old good water my weight went back to normal and yes today i do not have any skin that's hanging i do not have any stretchmarks after this so it is possible to turn around when you haft to be strong its no limit for what you can not do.

so tomorrow i will post a few picture how i used to look like for a few years.

So am back,for just a short stay..)

i have been so busy finish up my draft ,script to my upcoming book,i know it has been a few years since i last published a book but i am back,and within the summer my book will be in online stores all over the world.

i am very excited ,must say am real proud of myself.)

sometimes am thinking why am i here on this earth.am not saying this because i dont love life i really do am very blessed to see this life we living the nature flowers the sunshine its like living in a dream just look around you.we all are so blessed.even thou i still thinking why me?ever since i were born i had nothing more than a bad life the onlt time i felt love were when i had my children when i had my own family,when i lost everything my life has pretty must been a cloud.still i have a little family that i love more than anything .

but still why did and why do anyone treat me like trash like am not important why would i be stepped on ,i always have been a target i guess am a easy target because am honest kind loving and giving.people do not see me they just see them self and forget that no human are perfect.why do i treat people nice when others treat me as i were without feelings.?i could never harm another or even hurt their feelings rather i would be a person you could turn to when days are dull when days are blue.

i get sad i get lonely i feel why me?what did i do?the answer is NOTHING.